A few of our Gems stated that they have trust issues-especially of other girls. Why do girls have such a hard time getting along with and trusting other girls? I have definitely seen this same mentality spill over into adulthood.

Here is an excerpt from the poem “We should all be feminist” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

which was made famous in the song “Flawless” by Beyonce.

We raise girls to treat each other as competitors

Not for jobs or for accomplishments

Which I think can be a good thing

But for the attention of men

How true is this?!?! We should all be raising our girls to work together and to be kind. We should not raise our girls to behave like those from the Basketball Wives or Love and Hip Hop franchises. I personally pick on these shows a lot, but the way that these women behave is despicable to me.  The women fight, gossip, and argue over men that are obviously cheating on them, have a coming to Jesus moment, and then do it all again the next episode. Some say it is just entertainment, but the audience of these shows are young girls who are mimicking the behavior.  Can these young girls distinguish the difference between entertainment and role models?

We can talk all day about how a girl hurt us and how much they gossip and how much drama they are (insert a neck roll here) but the real question is

What are we going to do about it??

1. Watch what you talk about to your young girls. I remember hearing “Girls are so much drama”, “don’t trust girls” and other negative comments from older women when I was growing up. So surely if I was hearing this, other adolescent girls were hearing the same. Older women may have intended to help us by making us aware, but these comments were helping to continue the cycle. Instead of talking about the negative aspects of how girls behave, encourage girls to work together and to be friends. Teach them that they do not have to be in competition over boys. Instruct them that the girl next to her is her sister and not her enemy. It starts at a young age.
2. Realistically reality TV will not be off the air anytime soon-especially as long as someone is willing to act a fool over a few dollars. However, we can control what programming is coming into our homes. It seems like quality TV shows are few and far between but it is worth taking control over what your kids are watching.
3. Practice what you preach. Kids always pay attention to what you do. Embrace your sister, cousin, niece, auntie etc. the way that you would like to be treated. It would not make sense to try and teach our daughters to love one another, and we are not practicing what we preach.

Ladies, it may not be easy but anything worth having is worth working towards.  Be the example.

“Each One Teach One”